It’s funny how perspective changes over time. The things that once frustrated us or made us feel restricted eventually make sense when you step outside and see the world for what it is—more expansive, more liberating, and more complicated than we ever realized. There was a time when I couldn’t understand why my ex was so insistent that I stay indoors, stay within a certain space, a certain comfort zone. It felt like they wanted to keep me safe, but also like they were trying to control me. I felt smothered, suffocated, and trapped in a life that wasn’t mine.
But now, as I stand here, a little older, a little wiser, I see it differently. I see why my ex didn’t want me outside—it wasn’t about control, not really. It was about their own insecurities, their own fears, and maybe even their own love for me. They loved me in a way that made them want to keep me close, to shield me from the unpredictable world outside.
It wasn’t that they wanted to stop me from living; it was that they didn’t want to lose me. But here’s the thing—they didn’t realize that love doesn’t mean keeping someone in a cage, even if it’s a gilded one. Love is about freedom.
And now that I’m outside—truly outside, not just physically but mentally and emotionally—I see the beauty of being my own person. I’ve been out here for a while, and I can feel the air on my skin, the possibilities in every direction. This freedom feels like the world is mine to conquer, and I’m not weighed down by someone else’s expectations or fears.
It’s wild how much you can grow when you’re no longer confined by someone else’s vision of what’s best for you. In that space, I was scared of making mistakes, of being judged, of stepping outside of what was “safe.” But out here, it’s a different story. I’ve learned that life isn’t about avoiding discomfort—it’s about embracing it, learning from it, and realizing that the world outside is where we find ourselves. The world outside gives us the chance to discover who we truly are, unfiltered and unapologetically.
I don’t blame my ex for their attempts to protect me. In their own way, they thought they were doing what was best. They didn’t want me to be hurt by the world’s unpredictability, its harshness. They wanted to shield me from the pain that comes with stepping into the unknown. But in the process, they forgot that I needed to grow, and sometimes growth means taking risks, falling, and getting up again.
Now that I’m outside, I can breathe. I can walk freely and experience the world at my own pace, without someone else’s fears clouding my judgment. I get to choose my own path, my own direction. I’m not defined by someone else’s love or their version of safety. I’m more than just someone’s idea of who I should be. I’m me—and that feels like the most powerful thing I’ve ever experienced.
It’s not that I don’t understand the love they had for me. I do. But I understand now that love isn’t about holding someone in one place because you’re afraid to lose them. Love is about letting them go, trusting them to navigate the world, and being there to support them when they return, better and stronger than before.
So, as much as I once resented the limits they tried to impose on me, I’ve come to appreciate the lessons. I see why my ex didn’t want me outside; it was because they loved me. But now, I know that love doesn’t grow in the shadows. It grows in the light, in the freedom to be yourself, to explore the world on your own terms. And I love myself more than I ever did before—not because of who I was with, but because of who I am when I’m out here, standing tall in the world, unapologetically alive and thriving.
