Sex therapist Vanessa Marin admitted ‘these things are challenging’
An expert has shared the four things you should ‘never’ do in the bedroom with your partner that could potentially kill the mood.
There is no rulebook to this whole relationship thing, though there are certainly things you can do to keep things on track and maintain that all important spark.
One of them being how you act in the bedroom, and one sex therapist has detailed how doing four specific things when doing the deed can kill any sense of intimacy.
Vanessa Marin, based in California, has garnered close to one million followers on social media by providing unfiltered sex and relationship advice to those who may require it.
One particular video detailed the things you should ‘never’ do in the bedroom with your partner, with Marin captioning the clip: “After two decades in the sex therapy field and working with thousands of couples, there are certain things that I will not be doing in our relationship.”
Husband taking the lead
Marin began the video by explaining that she never lets her partner take the responsibility for initiating ‘simply because he’s the man’.
Research has found that men are more likely to initiate within a relationship, but Marin explained how both sides taking it in turns to take the lead can result in a more dynamic and even happy relationship.
Guilt
Sometimes people aren’t really in the mood to get in-between the sheets, and Maid revealed how she doesn’t make her partner feel guilty if he’s not feeling it.
Azizeh Rezaiyan, a fellow US-based therapist, had similar advice, saying as per the Mail: “It’s easy to read into things, assuming your partner is cheating, or not attracted to you, but that’s not a rabbit hole worth going into.”
Bringing guilt into a relationship is never a good thing (Getty Stock Photo)
Communication
Being able to talk efficiently with your partner is crucial to the success of any relationship, and that includes what goes on in the bedroom.
Marin went on to say she often speaks up about her desires even if there’s the chance of upsetting her partner.
I mean, honesty is the best policy, right?
Blame game
It’s certainly not uncommon for it to go wrong in the bedroom, though Marin has said she will never maker her partner feel ashamed or blame him for performance-based issues during sex.
The therapist also went on to say she avoids crying or throwing accusations about in such a scenario.Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Home> News> Sex & Relationships
Published 14:47 19 Nov 2024 GMT
Sex therapist reveals three things she would never do in a relationship that a lot of people are guilty of
A lot of people are said to be guilty of doing these three things in a relationship
A sex therapist has detailed the three things she will never do in a relationship that a lot of people are seemingly guilty of.
There is no rulebook to this relationship thing, though there are certainly things you can do to ensure things go swimmingly.
But when you are in the middle of a tricky situation, it can be pretty difficult to gain perspective – so listening to the advice of a sex and relationships expert is always a good option.
Vanessa is a ‘’licensed psychotherapist’ who studied human sexuality, and has been a sex therapist for the best part of 20 years.
Alongside her partner Xander, ‘a regular dude’, she shares sex advice and ‘frank discussions’ on YouTube. And in a recent video, she detailed three things she would never do in a relationship.
A sex therapist reveals three things she would never do in a relationship (Getty Stock Photo)
Shame a partner
Vanessa stressed how you should never shame a partner ‘for initiating sex in a moment’ when they wasn’t personally into it.
“I know that when your partner initiates sometimes it can bring up shame, embarrassment, frustration if you really aren’t into it in that moment,” the therapist explained.
“But I know how vulnerable initiating can be.”
The therapist went on to say she would never want to make her partner feeling bad for ‘putting themselves out there and asking’.Play
Stopping initiating as a ‘test’
This is an automatic no-go, with Vanessa stating: “I would never stop initiating sex as a test to my partner.”
The therapist did not how ‘frustrating’ it might feel if you’re the one with the higher sex drive – but it’s important to put things into perspective.
“Tests like these never work out for anybody. Sex should not be a mind game,” Vanessa added.
Fake an orgasm
This is a hugely discussed one, with Vanessa warning against doing it in the bedroom.
Heck, a poll in the UK found a whopping 58 percent of British women have faked an orgasm – suggesting it’s certainly very common in a lot of relationships.
Many of us are guilty of it (Getty Stock Photo)
Vanessa ‘understands’ why people fake an orgasm however, as she said: “I really sympathise with the many reasons we fake,” admitting to have done it ‘tonnes’ of times in the past.
“But nobody wins when you fake. You have unsatisfying sex, your partner never ends up learning what you like and you only find yourself growing more and more resentful.”
So, if you are embarking on any of these activities, think twice as to whether it’s impacting your relationship.Featured Image Credit: YouTube/Vanessa and Xander Marin
Topics: Sex and Relationships
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Relationship expert reveals how long you should wait to sleep with someone
Relationship expert Jacob Lucas has shared how long you should wait to have sex with potential new partner
A relationship expert has revealed how long you should be waiting to sleep with someone if you’re wanting your relationship to last long-term.
In this day and age, a large majority of people are finding their new partners through dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, or Bumble, and after connecting on such apps, the usual intention is to then meet face-to-face.
Now, you might fancy the pants off your date and be keen try before you buy after a successful first date (if you catch my gist), but relationship expert Jacob Lucas has urged singletons to hold fire when it comes to bedding their suitors.
A dating expert has revealed how long you should wait to sleep with someone (Getty Stock)
Before you even get to that point, however, you usually need the first date itself to go well.
With this in mind, speaking on behalf of FruitySlots.com, Jacob shared what topics he thinks people should stay clear of on a first date.
“Politics is a touchy subject,” he told UNILAD. “You probably shouldn’t talk about this on a first date — it can get too heated.”
He continued: “Second, don’t talk about your ex, people aren’t on a first date with you because they want to hear about your ex.
“It also suggests you might not be over them either.”
Now, suppose politics and exes aren’t brought up in conversation and the date goes well, should you sleep with them after the first meet up? Jacob says no.
Jacob Lucas is a content creator and dating coach (@jacoblucas101/Instagram)
Instead, he suggests a three-date rule.
“Sleeping with someone on the first date can sometimes put you in a tricky situation,” the dating guru, who boasts over 100,000 followers in his Instagram page, shared. “If you have a really strong connection with someone on the second date, then it could go either way. The third date is quite traditional.”
So keep it in your pants, folks.
However, Jacob did warn that if you wait too long to have sex with someone you like, it may put too much pressure on the first time you eventually sleep together, or it might lead to you friend-zoning your date.
In some additional advice, he also gave tips on red flags to look out for on someone’s dating profile.
It was reported in 2022 that over 13 percent of those using online dating platforms got engaged to or married a person they met on the apps, said Tawkify Matchmaking – so don’t give up on romance just yet, my fellow singletons.
Jacob shared what red flags to look out for on dating apps (Getty Stock)
But how do you find your future spouse in the midst of all the millions of people on dating apps? Well, there’s a handful of things to that are supposedly dating profile no-gos.
Listing them, Jacob revealed: “When they don’t put what they’re looking for [on an app]; a person often does this so they can tailor the situation to whoever they’re talking to and make out like they want the same thing, this is the most common one.”
Another red flag was overly filtered photos.
“A lot of people do this,” he shared. “Then they meet and it’s obvious they don’t look the same, and it’s sort of semi-catfishing.”
He also warned relationship hopefuls to be wary of people who only share group photos on their profiles, men who share topless photos, and someone not having a bio as it suggests that they’re ‘someone who doesn’t really care about getting to know people very well and isn’t interested in making an effort’.
May the odds be ever in your favor, friends.Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image
Topics: Sex and Relationships, News, Life
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Published 20:14 29 Oct 2024 GMT
Expert reveals exactly how much your body changes when you stop having sex
It’s not all bad news, don’t worry
One sex and relationship expert has lifted the lid on exactly what changes your body undergoes when you stop having sex.
Cuffing season may be well and truly upon us, but not everyone is going to be keeping warm under the covers with their partner this winter.
Now, you’ve all heard of a dry spell – and I’m sure most of you have even experienced it yourself – but other than a blow to your self-esteem, what actual changes does the body go through when Netflix and chill really means just that – albeit solo?
The science behind what happens to your body when you abstain from sex has been revealed (LumiNola / Getty Images)
Fear not as sexpert for Womanizer, Christine Rafe, has kindly broken down and revealed the science behind the changes your body does, and doesn’t, go through during a dry spell.
What happens to the body when you stop having sex?
While you may expect certain changes to occur, the actual science behind it suggests not much is changing at all.
Rafe explained: “While there are recognized physical, emotional and psychological benefits to engaging in solo or partnered sexual activity (including outercourse or non-penetrative sex), this does not mean that there are negative consequences associated with not being sexually active.”
However, experts have explained how our body does go through a process known as ‘deconditioning’ during a time when sex is not on the cards.
Don’t worry, there’s not ‘use it or lose it’ situation going on here (Maria Korneeva / Getty Images)
What is deconditioning?
Well, deconditioning basically means becoming less primed for intercourse.
Rafe explained: “In the same way we might experience a reduced confidence, muscle tightness and overall deconditioning from not exercising, people who haven’t had sex, or who stop having sex for prolonged periods may experience deconditioning to sexual activities and find that they have muscle tightness or soreness, difficulties in ejaculatory control and a loss of confidence in sexual activity.”
The sex and relationships expert did make it clear that ‘these are not long-term biological changes’, however.
Thank God for that.
We all know sex has its benefits, but if you’re not having any, that’s ok too (Flashpop / Getty Images)
What are the benefits of having sex?
We’ve long been told the benefits of having a sexually active lifestyle, and Rafe has certainly backed up those claims.
However, don’t worry if you’re not getting any this cuffing season as there are no health downsides to not having sex either.
“There is no substantive research or evidence concluding that there are negative health impacts for someone who chooses to not have sex, or to stop having sex,” Rafe explained.
The benefits you ask, though?
Well, the expert explained that when it comes to hormones, ‘the chemicals released during sexual pleasure, whether solo or with others, include oxytocin, endorphins, serotonin and dopamine’.
She added: “These are our happy/feel-good chemicals, and they can improve mood and energy levels [and] increase motivation.”
On top of that, we’ve heard all about the benefits of sex reducing stress, which can therefore impact mood and the immune system.
Happy humping everyone, or not… either is fine.Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Science
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Woman ‘born with two vaginas’ shares the most ‘disgusting things’ she’s heard while dating
Annie Charlotte discovered that she has uterus didelphys when she was a teenager
A woman born with a rare condition meaning she has two vaginas has opened up about what it’s like to date.
Annie Charlotte was just 16-years-old when she was told that she had uterus didelphys.
Cleveland Clinic describes this as ‘a rare congenital condition where you’re born with two uteruses. It’s commonly called a double uterus’.
In some cases, a person will need treatment as the health condition can cause pregnancy complications and painful periods; but Annie’s never been under the knife for it.
Annie Charlotte was born with uterus didelphys (annieecharlotte/Instagram)
The OnlyFans star claims to have slept with hundreds of men, but none of them have noticed that she has uterus didelphys.
Annie’s ‘external stuff’ looks like your average vagina, but then it ‘opens up into two separate vaginas internally’, she explained to the Daily Star last month.
“I can obviously feel it on myself, and I have asked guys in the past after we’ve had sex if they could feel it, but they normally don’t notice it.”
While it evidently hasn’t hindered her sex life, Annie has found that her condition some-what impacts her dating life.
“Now I’m on a lot of dating apps and people will be like ‘you’re the two p****s girl’,” she told news.com.au.
Annie has shared what it’s like to date with the condition (annieecharlotte/Instagram)
Annie also said she’s often asked if she’s ‘had two at a time’. When she says she hasn’t, some men then offer to ‘sort her out’.
Discussing one specific encounter, Annie thought that things had been going well when they took a turn.
“Next minute, he said he’d been thinking he and his mate ‘wanted to be tunnel buddies in separate vaginas,'” she said.
While Annie was taken aback by the suggestion, she apparently went on to entertain the idea but the circumstances at the time meant it couldn’t happen.
In a similar situation, she went on a date expecting to see one guy, but he rocked up with his pal as well.
Annie recalled: “He said ‘Well, two vaginas so I thought two guys would be appropriate,'”
‘Appropriate’ isn’t quite the word I’d use for such a situation, personally.
With these dating experiences in mind, Annie said she’s now ditched the dating apps because she found them understandably ‘deflating’.
While Annie uses her condition to her advantage when it comes to being an OnlyFans content creator, apparently she makes half of her income from gaming videos.
The streams vary in their level of sexiness; sometimes Annie might be fully clothed, in underwear or topless.
Reportedly Annie can make as much as five figures a month on the platform.Featured Image Credit: annieecharlotte/Instagram
Topics: OnlyFans, Sex and Relationships, Life
