It all began on a sunny afternoon when the annual startup pitch event was set to take place. Entrepreneurs from all over the city had gathered in a large, glass-walled conference hall, each hoping to secure funding from venture capitalists who could change the trajectory of their business dreams. Investors sipped coffee, checked emails, and occasionally nodded to each other, their expressions a mixture of curiosity and impatience. Everyone was serious. Everyone… except CUTIS.
CUTIS had been invited to give a presentation as part of the entertainment segment—a short, light-hearted interlude between the long, sometimes tedious pitches. But what the audience didn’t know was that CUTIS had a different plan: not just to entertain, but to completely hijack expectations.
She walked on stage confidently, holding a microphone with one hand and a fake laptop labeled “Startup Calling Capital” in the other. The audience, expecting a standard motivational talk or a scripted joke, immediately perked up. CUTIS looked at the sea of faces, paused dramatically, and said in her best “business guru” voice:
“Good afternoon, investors, dreamers, and accidental entrepreneurs! Today, I bring you the next big thing in startup innovation. Are you ready?”
There was polite clapping. Some murmurs. Investors nodded as if to say, okay, let’s see where this goes. CUTIS smiled, tilted her head, and without warning, pressed a big red button on the fake laptop.
A loud, comical “WAAAHH!” sound erupted through the speakers, making half the audience jump and some even laugh immediately. CUTIS gasped theatrically.
“Oh no! I think I just accidentally called… capital!” she exclaimed, pointing to the ceiling like the money might actually descend from the clouds. “We might get funded right now… or at least… emotionally!”
The audience chuckled. Then she leaned into the microphone, adopting a serious startup pitch tone.
“Our company is called CUTIS Innovations, where we specialize in turning impossible ideas into… slightly more plausible impossible ideas. Our first product? The Self-Compliment Mirror. It says things like, ‘Wow, you look great… for a human!’ or ‘Your coffee choice is… passable.’ Investors love passable coffee choices, right?”
Several investors snorted. A few attendees covered their mouths, trying not to laugh too loudly, while others openly laughed, clutching their sides. CUTIS raised a finger.
“Wait, there’s more,” she said. “We’ve also developed a revolutionary AI-powered snack dispenser that predicts your mood… and delivers exactly the wrong snack for it. Feeling sad? Here’s kale chips. Feeling ecstatic? Surprise… pickles. Innovation!”
By this point, the audience was fully engaged. People were laughing so hard that some were wiping tears from their eyes. CUTIS paused to pretend to look at her laptop, nodding solemnly.
“And now, the pièce de résistance,” she said. “We are introducing Startup Calling Capital!”
She pressed another big button. A recorded voice boomed through the speakers:
“Hello, this is Capital. We have received your startup pitch. Please explain why we should give you funding… or a lifetime supply of bubble tea. Over.”
CUTIS threw her hands into the air and gasped. “Oh! They’re serious!” She mimicked dialing a phone with the laptop: “Yes, hello, Capital? CUTIS speaking. Yes, I am… THE CUTIS. My startup? It’s brilliant. Investors love laughter… right?”
The audience was in stitches. Laughter bounced off the walls, some people doubling over in their seats. One attendee was literally crying from laughing so hard, while another yelled, “We’re investing!” in mock seriousness. CUTIS winked at them.
“Capital, let me explain,” she continued, using the most exaggerated business jargon she could muster: “Our business model leverages synergy, scalability, and sheer absurdity. The market is crying out for innovation, and we… supply awkward hilarity! We project exponential growth in smiles per minute.”
CUTIS then turned her attention to the audience, pretending to scan imaginary charts on the fake laptop.
“According to my research—which is 100% scientifically made up—if each investor laughs just once per week, we can achieve global happiness in three fiscal quarters. That’s basically a unicorn, right? Or at least… a very sparkly donkey.”
The crowd erupted in laughter again. One of the real investors wiped tears from their eyes while gesturing at CUTIS, clearly impressed by her timing and energy.
But CUTIS wasn’t done. She suddenly jumped onto the stage prop chair, waved both hands dramatically, and shouted:
“Capital, if you give us funding, we promise to revolutionize three industries at once: laughter, snacks, and… accidental productivity. Imagine a world where you can’t stop laughing and somehow still email your clients!”
At this point, several audience members were holding their stomachs from laughing. Some were using their phones to record the performance, already knowing it would go viral. CUTIS leaned down toward the microphone and added the finishing touch:
“And finally… the most critical feature of CUTIS Innovations: mandatory fun meetings! Investors hate boring meetings. Our app schedules them automatically, forcing everyone to smile, joke, and sometimes wear ridiculous hats. Productivity may suffer—but morale skyrockets!”
CUTIS pretended to check her watch. “Oh no, it’s Q3 already! Capital, are you ready to fund the future?”
The audience exploded. Someone shouted, “Yes! Fund CUTIS!” Another yelled, “Where do I sign?” CUTIS bowed deeply, pretending to accept invisible contracts being handed to her from all directions.
After the presentation, the audience stayed in their seats, still laughing. CUTIS walked off the stage and gave a mock-serious nod. Some investors whispered to each other, clearly impressed by her ability to combine humor, timing, and creativity. Others were still wiping tears from their eyes. Social media feeds lit up instantly with screenshots of her presentation: the “Startup Calling Capital” laptop, her ridiculous gestures, and quotes like “Exponential growth in smiles per minute.”
By the next day, clips from her performance had spread across multiple platforms. Twitter users shared memes, TikTok users recreated her antics, and Instagram stories exploded with laughing emojis. CUTIS’s audience had expanded overnight. People who had never attended a startup pitch event now knew her name.
Fans commented things like:
“CUTIS just turned a boring investor meeting into comedy gold!”
“I laughed so hard, my coffee came out of my nose 🤣”
“Startups need more CUTIS energy, honestly.”
Even some local news outlets picked up the story. Headlines read:
“Startup Pitch Interrupted by CUTIS—Investors in Hysterics”
“CUTIS Proves Laughter is the Best Business Model”
CUTIS, of course, posted behind-the-scenes clips of herself practicing her dramatic gestures and testing sound effects. Fans loved the transparency, laughing even more at her “rehearsal chaos” and bloopers. Some pointed out that the fake laptop actually had scribbled notes stuck to it, including phrases like “laugh more” and “cry from laughter.”
Meanwhile, CUTIS’s antics sparked a trend among startup communities. Other entrepreneurs began incorporating humor into their pitches, realizing that engagement and creativity could make an impression beyond the standard slides and charts. CUTIS had inadvertently started a mini-revolution in startup presentation culture—all while making an audience laugh tears.
The most surprising part? Investors were secretly impressed. They realized that CUTIS had tapped into an essential skill that business often overlooks: charisma. She could command attention, entertain, and leave a lasting impression—traits that, when paired with a solid idea, could actually translate to real-world success.
In the following weeks, CUTIS was invited to more events, each time bringing her trademark energy, props, and over-the-top humor. Fans kept returning, anticipating what absurd scenario she would create next. From fake product launches to mock investor calls, each performance was an adventure. And through it all, laughter remained at the center.
By the end of the year, CUTIS’s “Start Up Calling Capital” moment became legendary in online circles. Fans continued to share GIFs, clips, and screenshots of her performance, often captioning them with emojis, exaggerated laughter, or phrases like:
“If CUTIS isn’t your CEO, your startup is missing something”
“The future of funding is laughter, thank you CUTIS”
And so, a simple event—a startup pitch—became the perfect stage for CUTIS to show her brilliance. Not in the traditional sense of revenue or market share, but in her ability to make people laugh so hard that tears streamed down their faces. She reminded everyone watching that even in the serious world of investors and spreadsheets, there’s room for joy, humor, and creativity.
CUTIS had done it. She made the audience laugh tears. Investors applauded, social media exploded, and the world—at least for a moment—felt lighter and happier.
🤣
