If you’ve ever met a Golden Retriever, you probably assume they love hugs. After all, these dogs are famous for their affectionate nature, wagging tails, and endless enthusiasm for human company. But then thereās Marley. And let me tell you, Marley is an enigma.

From the day I met him, I thought I had hit the jackpot. A big, fluffy Golden with warm, soulful eyesāsurely, he would be the ultimate snuggle buddy. But no, Marley operates on his own set of rules. One moment, heās leaning into me, pressing his golden coat against my legs as if he canāt get enough of me. The next moment, I reach out for a hug, and he scampers away like Iāve just asked him to do calculus.
So, is Marley a hugger? I honestly can’t tell!

The Mystery of the Almost-Hug
Marley is full of contradictions. If I sit on the couch, he jumps up next to me and flops dramatically onto my lap. Heāll nuzzle into my neck, sigh like heās had the hardest day of his life, and stay there for ages. But if I dare to wrap my arms around him, he stiffens.
Itās as if heās saying, āWhoa, whoa, letās not label this. Weāre just two pals hanging out.ā
Sometimes, I test the waters. Iāll slowly bring my arms around him while weāre watching TV. If I move too quickly, heās gone before I even get a chance. If I go slow, he might tolerate it for a second before squirming away. The confusion is real.

The Science of Dog Hugs
I started wonderingāmaybe Marley isnāt as weird as I think. Maybe some dogs just donāt like hugs. Thatās when I stumbled upon a great article by Kinship, and guess what? It turns out Marley is actually the exception!
Most Golden Retrievers are famous for their love of physical affection. Research shows that many dogs lean into their humans for comfort and connection. They crave that touch. But some dogs, even the cuddliest-looking ones, arenāt fans of full-on hugs.

According to the article, dogs have different ways of showing affection, and hugging isnāt always one of them. While some dogs enjoy it, others find it restrictive. It makes senseādogs instinctively prefer side-to-side contact rather than full-on embrace. For them, wrapping arms around their body can feel like being trapped.
So, Marley isnāt rejecting my love; heās just showing it in his own way.

Marley’s Unique Love Language
I decided to pay more attention to how Marley expresses his affection. Instead of forcing hugs on him, I started watching for his own signals. And let me tell you, this dog has a love language all his own.

- The Full-Body Lean ā Instead of hugging, Marley prefers leaning against me with all his weight. If Iām standing, heāll press his side into my legs, sometimes almost knocking me over. If Iām sitting, heāll drape himself across my lap like a 70-pound blanket. Itās his way of saying, āIām here. I trust you.ā
- The Head Rest ā If Marley really loves you, heāll rest his head on your knee or shoulder. Itās subtle, but it means everything.
- The Paw Tap ā Sometimes, when I stop petting him, Marley will lift his paw and place it gently on my arm. It’s his polite way of asking, āExcuse me, why did you stop?ā
- The Zoomie Surprise ā After a long day, Marley sometimes explodes into joyful zoomies, running in circles around me. Itās his way of saying, āIām happy youāre here.ā
- The Tail Wag That Moves His Whole Body ā Nothing says āI love youā more than the full-body wag, where his tail moves so enthusiastically that his whole backside joins in.

Learning to Love on His Terms
Understanding Marley has been a journey. I used to feel disappointed when he dodged my hugs, but now I get it. Heās not being standoffishāheās just showing affection in his own way.
Instead of wrapping my arms around him, I lean into him when he initiates contact. Instead of forcing cuddles, I let him come to me. And when he plops down with his head resting on my leg, I know Iāve won his heart.
Marley has taught me that love isnāt about what we wantāitās about understanding and respecting each otherās boundaries. And honestly, isnāt that what true companionship is all about?
The Final Verdict
So, is Marley a hugger? The answer is⦠kind of? Heās not a hugger in the traditional sense, but heās incredibly loving in his own way.
If youāve ever had a dog that doesnāt love hugs, donāt take it personally. They might just have their own special way of showing affection. If you want to learn more about dogs and their unique personalities, I highly recommend checking out the full article from Kinshipāitās linked in my bio!
In the meantime, Iāll be here, waiting for the day Marley surprises me with an actual hug. Until then, Iāll settle for his goofy lean-ins and tail wags. Because at the end of the day, love is loveāwhether it comes in the form of a hug or a head tilt.