It’s 2025, and yet, somehow, we still live in a world that loves to make women feel like they’re incomplete unless they’re in a relationship. Society, from movies to casual conversations, constantly bombards single women with the idea that something is inherently wrong with us if we haven’t settled down. The narrative is clear: “You must be miserable and lonely if you’re single, and you’ll only be happy when you find someone to call your own.”
But let me tell you something: that narrative is a lie. And honestly, some of the most miserable, saddest days of my life have had a man involved.
Let’s be real. Single doesn’t mean lonely or sad. It doesn’t mean I’m somehow “less than” because I don’t have a partner. And guess what? It doesn’t mean I’m struggling. It just means I’m choosing to live life on my terms, to grow, to learn, and to become the best version of myself before I invite someone else into my life. The truth is, being single has given me more joy, peace, and independence than I ever thought possible. And don’t get me wrong—I’ve had relationships, but sometimes, those relationships have been the source of my unhappiness, not my solitude.
I’ve had times where I was in a relationship with someone who couldn’t see me for who I really am. I’ve been with men who wanted me to shrink, to adjust, to conform to their expectations, rather than appreciating and embracing the woman I was. I’ve been told I’m too much, or I’m too independent, or I’m too driven. Too much for who? Too much for what?
For many women, the idea that we should feel “blessed” to have a man in our lives is pervasive. From a young age, we’re told that there’s something wrong with us if we don’t have a partner. “When are you getting married?” “Don’t you want kids?” We’re made to feel like our value is dependent on someone else choosing us. But here’s the thing: my value was never meant to be defined by a man. And it’s taken me a long time to understand that.
Some of the hardest, most soul-crushing moments in my life have come from trying to make a relationship work when I knew deep down it wasn’t the right one. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than feeling lonely while being with someone. There’s nothing more soul-sucking than being in a relationship where your needs, your emotions, and your dreams are consistently pushed aside to make room for someone else’s. There’s nothing more isolating than realizing that the very person you thought would make you feel seen and loved has instead made you question your worth.
And yet, society doesn’t warn us about those days. Society doesn’t say, “Hey, just because you’re with someone doesn’t mean it’s going to be all sunshine and roses. Relationships can be draining, emotionally exhausting, and sometimes downright toxic.” Instead, we’re told that being in a relationship automatically equates to happiness. But what about the relationships where you feel more lost than ever? What about the ones where you feel like you’re constantly giving, constantly sacrificing, and never receiving the love and care you deserve?
I don’t need a man to validate me. I’ve learned to validate myself. And trust me, this is a place of true power and peace. When I was single, I wasn’t sad or miserable—I was empowered. I found joy in my own company, growth in my independence, and comfort in the fact that I was living for myself. And when I’ve been with someone who’s truly added value to my life, I’ve been happy. But that happiness wasn’t born out of the relationship; it was born out of the fact that I already knew who I was, what I wanted, and what I needed. A partner should add to your happiness, not become the source of it.
So, for all the men out there who think they need to convince single women that we’re somehow incomplete without them: stop. Because honestly, the reality is far different. I’ve had more heartbreak, more disappointment, and more emotional turmoil with a man in my life than I ever did alone. My most miserable days came when I was trapped in a relationship that didn’t serve me, a relationship where my happiness was in someone else’s hands. I’m no longer interested in that.
The single life is not a life of despair; it’s a life of freedom. It’s a life where I get to decide what I want, when I want it, and how I want to live. And there’s power in that. I’m not waiting for someone to complete me because I’m already whole. I’m not seeking validation from a partner because I already see my own worth.
It’s time we stop telling women that we need a man to be happy. We can be happy, fulfilled, and thriving on our own. And when we do choose to be with someone, it’s because we want to, not because we need to. So let’s stop buying into the idea that being single equals sadness. For me, it’s the opposite—being single has given me the chance to grow into the woman I’ve always wanted to be.
And trust me, I’m happier than I ever was in a relationship that made me feel small.
Being in a relationship doesn’t guarantee happiness. Sometimes, it’s the opposite. It’s the isolation, the emotional draining, and the suffocating feeling of being with someone who doesn’t support you. Being single is not synonymous with being lonely. It’s about personal growth, independence, and knowing that your happiness comes from within—not from a partner. I choose to be happy, whether single or not.
