In today’s world, where female empowerment, unity, and support should be celebrated, it’s disheartening to witness women humiliating one another for the sake of attention or validation. The truth is, women have been pitted against each other for centuries, conditioned to believe that there is only limited space for success, beauty, or approval. This toxic mindset leads some women to believe that, in order to feel better about themselves or to gain attention, they must tear others down. I stay far away from women who humiliate other women for attention because, quite frankly, we don’t speak the same language.
It’s hard to imagine a scenario where mutual respect, kindness, and encouragement don’t take center stage in our relationships with other women, but unfortunately, many women still feel the need to use others as stepping stones to boost their self-esteem. I want to take a deeper look at this phenomenon, exploring the damage it causes to both the person being humiliated and to the person doing the humiliating. Moreover, I’ll discuss why it’s essential for women to foster an environment of mutual support rather than competitive destruction.
The Toxic Need for Validation Through Humiliation
The foundation of this harmful behavior lies in the deep need for validation and recognition, especially in a world that often fails to recognize women’s accomplishments or their inherent worth. It’s easy to see how some women, influenced by societal pressures, might feel that in order to “shine,” they must diminish someone else’s light.
Whether it’s the sharp words spoken in a group setting, the subtle backhanded compliments, or the outright gossip and slander, women who humiliate others for attention believe that by tearing someone else down, they will somehow elevate themselves. But the truth is, this approach is fundamentally flawed and ultimately self-destructive. The power of humbling another woman is a cheap trick that ultimately costs the person using it more than they’ll ever realize.
Humiliating someone else might create a temporary feeling of superiority, but it doesn’t build real self-worth. Women who engage in this type of behavior are often plagued by insecurity, doubt, and a deep need for external validation. The act of humiliating another woman doesn’t prove strength or superiority; it only exposes weakness and an inability to find happiness without tearing others down.
The Emotional Damage to the Victim
Humiliation, whether it’s direct or passive-aggressive, can have devastating emotional effects on the person being targeted. Women are already facing so much pressure—whether from societal beauty standards, career expectations, or familial demands. The last thing any woman needs is to experience cruelty from another woman who should, in theory, be one of her most supportive allies.
Humiliating words can leave lasting scars. They can cause self-doubt, anxiety, and even depression. When a woman is humiliated by another woman, the pain goes beyond just the moment of insult—it chips away at her confidence, her sense of belonging, and her belief in the importance of sisterhood. This kind of emotional trauma can take years to heal, and the effects can ripple throughout her relationships and overall sense of self-worth.
When a woman humiliates another, she is not only attacking an individual; she is perpetuating a culture of division and mistrust. In a world where women should be lifting each other up, such behavior destroys the foundation of what could be an empowering and supportive connection.
The Role of Society in Encouraging Female Rivalry
It’s important to acknowledge the larger social structures at play. Society often pits women against each other, creating an artificial scarcity of opportunities for success. We are constantly told that there’s only space for one “queen” at the top. This competitive environment fosters the idea that in order to thrive, women must compete against each other, rather than collaborate and support one another.
The media plays a huge role in perpetuating this narrative. From reality TV shows that pit women against one another to celebrity gossip that thrives on scandal and drama, society has made a spectacle of female rivalry. As a result, some women internalize this belief, thinking that they must “win” by diminishing another woman’s worth. But this “win” is never a true victory. It’s a hollow and ultimately damaging approach to success, one that doesn’t reflect the values of empathy, cooperation, or mutual respect.
Building a Culture of Support and Respect
The key to breaking this toxic cycle is to shift our focus from competition to collaboration and empowerment. Women can thrive when they support each other, when they cheer for each other’s successes, and when they invest in each other’s growth. Rather than viewing another woman’s success as a threat, we should see it as proof that there is enough room for all of us to succeed. The rise of one woman does not diminish the worth of another—it only proves that women can accomplish great things, and that we are all capable of greatness.
If we want to create a world where women can flourish without tearing each other down, we need to lead by example. We must actively practice kindness, encouragement, and respect toward one another. This means challenging the notion that women should be anything but supportive in their relationships with each other. It means standing up for other women when we see them being mistreated, and offering help when it’s needed, not out of obligation, but out of love.
Why We Don’t Speak the Same Language
When I say that I stay far away from women who humiliate other women, I’m not just speaking about actions; I’m also speaking about values and attitudes. The language of cruelty, judgment, and insecurity is one that I refuse to engage with. It doesn’t align with the values that I hold dear—kindness, respect, and support. The language of uplifting, celebrating, and empowering women is the language I speak, and it’s the only one I’m willing to engage with.
The truth is, humiliating others for attention reveals a deep lack of self-respect and self-worth. It reflects an individual’s inability to find value within themselves and instead seeks validation by putting others down. On the other hand, when women support each other, they share in the joy of each other’s success and build a sense of solidarity that can withstand anything life throws at them. That’s the language I choose to speak—one of unity, strength, and genuine care for the success of others.
Conclusion: Embracing Sisterhood
At the end of the day, the true strength of women lies in our ability to lift each other up. We have the power to create a world where women no longer feel the need to humiliate one another for attention, but instead, celebrate each other’s achievements, big or small. We must stop participating in harmful behaviors and encourage others to do the same. It’s time to embrace a culture of kindness, respect, and unconditional support.
To those who humiliate others for attention, I say this: we simply don’t speak the same language. You might be seeking something external to fill the void inside, but true empowerment and self-worth come from within, and they are never built on the pain of others. To every woman who supports, uplifts, and encourages those around her, I say thank you. Together, we can rewrite the narrative and create a future where women are known not for tearing each other down, but for building each other up.
Let’s choose sisterhood over rivalry. Let’s choose kindness over cruelty. Let’s choose the language of empowerment.
