Marriage is an incredible journey filled with love, growth, and learning. However, it also comes with its own set of challenges—some we expected and others that completely surprised us! Looking back, there are quite a few things we wish we had known before getting married. If you’re engaged, newly married, or even just curious about the reality of marriage, we’re sharing our biggest lessons and challenges so far!

1. Communication is EVERYTHING 🗣️

We always heard that communication was key, but we didn’t realize just how deep and intentional it needed to be. Talking about your day is one thing, but openly expressing emotions, discussing finances, and resolving conflicts requires a whole different level of communication.

What We Wish We Knew:

• It’s not just about talking—it’s about listening and understanding.
• Silence isn’t always golden—if something is bothering you, address it.
• Learning each other’s communication styles is crucial.

Challenge:

We initially struggled with different communication approaches. One of us wanted to talk things out immediately, while the other needed space to process emotions. This led to misunderstandings and unnecessary tension until we learned to meet in the middle.

2. Finances Can Be Tricky 💰

Money is one of the biggest sources of stress in a marriage. Whether it’s spending habits, saving goals, or unexpected expenses, financial discussions are essential.

What We Wish We Knew:

• Have financial conversations before marriage—talk about debts, savings, and financial goals.
• Budgeting together is a game-changer.
• There’s no “right” way to handle finances—joint accounts, separate accounts, or a mix—find what works for you!

Challenge:

Early on, we realized we had different spending habits. One of us was a saver, while the other enjoyed spending more freely. It took a lot of compromise and financial planning to find a balance that worked for both of us.

3. Conflict Resolution Matters More Than You Think 🏡

Fights happen, even in the healthiest marriages. The key isn’t avoiding conflict—it’s knowing how to handle it in a productive way.

What We Wish We Knew:

• It’s okay to disagree—but never fight to “win.” Marriage isn’t a competition.
• Taking a cooling-off period before responding can prevent unnecessary arguments.
• Saying “I’m sorry” and meaning it is a superpower.

Challenge:

We used to let small arguments escalate because we didn’t know how to de-escalate situations. Now, we’ve learned to pause, reflect, and approach disagreements with understanding rather than defensiveness.

4. Marriage is a Team Effort 🤝

Before marriage, we were used to making decisions individually. But marriage requires teamwork in everything—big decisions, daily chores, and even emotional support.

What We Wish We Knew:

• You have to show up for each other every single day.
• Marriage means putting your partner’s needs alongside your own.
• Supporting each other’s dreams and goals is part of being a great partner.

Challenge:

It took time to shift from an “I” mindset to a “we” mindset. Learning to consult each other on decisions, compromise, and be each other’s biggest cheerleader has been a game-changer in our relationship.

5. Love Changes Over Time ❤️

The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but that doesn’t mean love fades—it evolves into something deeper and stronger.

What We Wish We Knew:

• The butterflies may not always be there, but companionship and trust are even more important.
• Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice you make every day.
• Romance requires effort, even in long-term relationships.

Challenge:

We had to adjust expectations about love after the initial excitement of marriage settled. Learning to appreciate the little things—like making coffee for each other, holding hands, and laughing together—kept the romance alive.

6. Alone Time is Just as Important as Together Time 🌿

Spending time together is wonderful, but so is having individual space.

What We Wish We Knew:

• It’s okay to have separate hobbies and interests.
• Alone time helps you recharge and appreciate your partner more.
• You don’t have to do everything together to have a strong marriage.

Challenge:

At first, we felt guilty about wanting alone time. But we learned that a little independence actually strengthens our relationship!

7. Expect the Unexpected 💡

Life throws curveballs—job changes, family issues, health struggles—and marriage means facing them together.

What We Wish We Knew:

• Flexibility is key—you can’t control everything.
• Hard times can actually bring you closer if you support each other.
• Laughing through challenges makes everything easier.

Challenge:

We faced unexpected life events that tested our patience and teamwork. Learning to lean on each other, rather than stress separately, made all the difference.

Final Thoughts: Marriage is a Journey, Not a Destination 💍

Marriage isn’t about being perfect—it’s about growing, learning, and choosing each other every day. If we could go back, we’d remind our younger selves to be patient, embrace the ups and downs, and always find joy in the little moments.

If you’re married, what’s something you wish you knew before marriage? Let us know in the comments—we’d love to hear your thoughts!