In a world that’s constantly advocating for the empowerment of women, it’s hard to ignore the fact that, unfortunately, some women still choose to tear other women down. This behavior can manifest in many forms, from subtle jabs and gossip to full-on humiliation, often for the sake of attention. I find myself distancing from women who engage in such behavior because, quite frankly, we don’t speak the same language. The values that drive their actions are drastically different from the ones I hold dear. In this essay, I want to explore why I stay away from women who humiliate others for attention and the deeper implications of this behavior.
First, let’s acknowledge that women are often pitted against one another in ways that are harmful and unjust. The media, society, and sometimes even our own circles can create environments where women feel that in order to be seen or validated, they must compete for attention, approval, and status. Unfortunately, this can lead to toxic dynamics where one woman’s success or popularity is perceived as dependent on the downfall of another. Humiliating other women becomes a tool—one that’s used to lift oneself while pushing another down. However, this mindset is not one I subscribe to.
When I see a woman putting another down, whether through cruel comments or by amplifying someone else’s flaws for the sake of looking better, I immediately feel a sense of disconnect. This type of behavior reflects a lack of understanding about true empowerment. Empowerment isn’t about one person’s rise at the expense of another’s fall; it’s about uplifting one another, building a community of strength, and embracing solidarity. Women should be in the business of supporting each other, not tearing each other apart. When I see women engaging in humiliation, I recognize that they do not value this communal strength, and I find myself questioning their intentions.
This behavior also often comes from a place of insecurity. A woman who feels the need to belittle others for attention is, in many cases, projecting her own fears and inadequacies. Rather than facing these feelings head-on and working to improve herself, she deflects by defaming others. I understand that insecurity is a human experience, something everyone grapples with at one point or another, but there’s a huge difference between acknowledging our weaknesses and using them as a weapon against others. When a woman humiliates another for attention, it signals to me that she hasn’t come to terms with her own sense of self-worth. She seeks validation through others’ discomfort, not through authentic self-empowerment. This isn’t a journey I want to be a part of.
Moreover, I believe that true strength in women is not defined by how much attention we can get, but by how much compassion and empathy we can show toward each other. When women choose to elevate each other instead of belittling others for personal gain, they set an example of what it means to be truly powerful. There’s an unspoken understanding among women who empower each other that there is room for all of us to thrive. There’s no need to degrade another to shine—our light does not diminish because someone else’s is glowing. The more we lift each other up, the more we all shine in the process.
What’s more, this behavior of humiliation for attention is not just harmful to the women involved—it also affects the wider culture. When women tear each other down publicly, it normalizes the idea that this is acceptable behavior and, in some cases, that it’s even necessary for success. This creates a cycle of negativity and division, one that women have been fighting for decades to break. We should be working to create a culture that celebrates collective achievements, diversity, and the different ways women shine. Humiliation contradicts this effort and reinforces outdated stereotypes that pit women against one another.
For me, staying far away from women who humiliate others isn’t just about avoiding negative energy. It’s about refusing to be part of a toxic cycle that keeps women in competition with each other instead of collaboration. It’s about protecting my own sense of self and not allowing myself to be swept into an environment where my value is based on comparison rather than growth. I don’t want to engage in conversations where women are reduced to gossip or where we measure each other’s worth by how much we can degrade one another. I’d rather be around women who seek to build bridges, not walls.
It’s important to note that the language we speak—both metaphorically and literally—can have a profound impact on the world around us. The words we choose and the way we communicate with others shapes our relationships and the communities we build. When I hear a woman speaking harshly of another, it feels like a foreign language to me, one that doesn’t resonate with my values. I speak the language of empathy, of support, and of compassion. These are the values I want to surround myself with, and when I find women who share that same language, it’s a connection that feels grounded in mutual respect and understanding.
In conclusion, I stay far away from women who humiliate other women for attention because we simply don’t speak the same language. I believe in the power of women supporting each other, uplifting one another, and creating a world where our strength is defined not by the size of our individual spotlight but by the collective light we all contribute. Women who humiliate others for attention are disconnected from this truth, and by distancing myself from them, I protect my own sense of self-worth and remain committed to fostering positivity and empowerment in my own life. Empowerment is not a competition; it’s a shared journey that’s richer when walked together.
