Let’s be real for a second—how many times have you talked yourself into dating someone because they were “nice,” “made sense on paper,” or were “just so into you,” even though deep down, you weren’t truly into them? Be honest. It’s okay. We’ve all done it. But here’s the thing: you deserve to date someone you’re genuinely attracted to, and I promise you, it makes all the difference.
Attraction is not shallow. It’s not selfish. It’s not some luxury that only movie stars and Instagram models get to experience. It’s a very real, very necessary part of connection. That spark, that chemistry—that “damn, I can’t stop thinking about you” feeling—isn’t just for the movies. It’s a part of human desire, and you shouldn’t talk yourself out of it.
So why do we settle? Maybe it’s fear of being alone. Maybe it’s societal pressure. Maybe you’ve been told that good relationships are only about compatibility, kindness, and shared values. And while yes, those things absolutely matter, so does attraction. Don’t downplay it like it’s some bonus feature. It’s not extra—it’s essential.
Dating someone you’re not attracted to can feel like slowly suffocating your own joy. You start to rationalize the lack of spark. “They treat me well, and that should be enough.” You convince yourself you’re being mature for “looking past the physical.” And sure, there’s something admirable in trying to value substance over surface. But let me ask you this—what’s the point of a relationship if you’re not excited to be in it?
You can’t force desire. You can’t manufacture chemistry. And honestly, you shouldn’t have to. When you’re attracted to someone, everything feels lighter. Conversations flow. Touches matter. Kisses mean something. You find yourself daydreaming, getting nervous before dates, wanting to impress them—not because you’re insecure, but because they genuinely excite you. That’s a sign. That’s your gut saying, “Yes. This is what I want.”
Now, attraction doesn’t mean they have to look like a model. It’s not about conventional beauty or what other people find hot. It’s about your personal taste. Maybe it’s the way they laugh, or how they carry themselves, or the way they make eye contact like they actually see you. That kind of attraction is powerful, and it’s yours to define.
Of course, I’m not saying ditch every person who doesn’t make your heart race 24/7. Relationships go through phases. Passion can ebb and flow. But if it never existed in the first place, you’ll always feel like something’s missing—and you’ll start resenting them for it, even if they’ve done nothing wrong.
I’m telling you: date people you’re actually attracted to. Date the ones who make you nervous in the best way. The ones you can’t wait to kiss. The ones who give you butterflies—not just because they’re “nice” but because they light you up. Life is too short to convince yourself into lukewarm love. You deserve the fire. You deserve the yes.
Stop dating people just to check a box. Stop settling for “safe” when your soul craves alive. Find someone who excites you—and go all in.
Because love that starts with attraction doesn’t mean it’s shallow.
It means it’s real.
